you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
