I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize