Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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