last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize
