it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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