i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
