I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
