how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Sext me about skeletons
Randomize
