the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
