Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
