Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Randomize