I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
