i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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