I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
