there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
