Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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