I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
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