She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
wow bdsm is so cute
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