I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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