So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
