He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
