we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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