East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
