i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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