ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Randomize
