my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
