My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
