We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
