she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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