Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Randomize
