I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
