she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
