Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Randomize
