can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
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