need another drink. this is the easiest way
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
