I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
