An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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