It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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