FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
