Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
