just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
