and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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