I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
