I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
