I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Randomize
