i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
