There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
