"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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