Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
