He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
