there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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