as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Randomize
