i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
