If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
