You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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