chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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