Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
