i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
