you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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