i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
