it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
