I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
