He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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