The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
